Without Reservation
by fanofrandy
Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic.  What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.  some minor language *NOW COMPLETE!*
1. Chapter 1

Title: Without Reservation

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

It had been months since the Paramedic Bill, now called the Wedsworth-Townsend Act, passed allowing the Los Angeles County Paramedics to practice their live-saving skills without on-site supervision. Since the program began, the statistics on lives saved had already shown a marked improvement. Dr. Brackett AND Nurse Dixie McCall could attest to that on a personal level. But, there was still much to learn about this new "chapter" in Emergency Care and Rescue.

Dr. Brackett met with some doctors from Harbor General, Battalion Chief Conrad, Assemblyman Wolski, and a few other interested parties to discuss the Paramedic program further. Many concerns were raised about the men who would participate. Many of these men were/would be returning veterans; for that was the point behind the program—use the returning medics from VietNam to provide life-saving care on the scene. They were also firefighters—a job in itself which was fraught with danger and stress. And, many of them were already experiencing signs of stress and fatigue. "_That is because it took so long for this bill to be passed. And, they were unable to use their training_. _Imagine being trained to do something and not being allowed to do it_!" Assemblyman Wolski determined in his mind.

"So, gentleman, as we sum this up; I think we all agree that complete physicals and mental health assessments will be made on all these men at the time they are certified. We will conduct yearly reviews to see what, if any, affect this new role has on them from a physical and mental standpoint." Dr. Brackett stated.

All the men nodded their agreement.

Chief Conrad added, "Gentleman, I appreciate that this group understands the added burden these men have on them. They are supervised by two entities—the hospital and the fire department and that could be confusing for them at times. Also, since they have more training and skills, the loss of life could be more of a burden to them than it was before with just basic first aid training for the Rescue Men. A mistake or wrong decision could be an overwhelming stressor to these men. I'm glad we're thinking of this before the fact, rather than when it becomes too late."

The men in the room appreciated the man's comments and thought that he should certainly know having come up through the ranks of the Fire Department.

Dr. Brackett returned to Rampart and began preparing notices for all the Paramedics to report for their physicals and psychological evaluations. He knew that some of the men would give him a hard time, but he also knew that it was necessary for the success of the program and the welfare of "his" Paramedics.

"_Hmm…I never thought I would refer to them as 'my Paramedics', but they are a likable bunch_, "Brackett thought as he signed the last of the notices.

He talked with Dr.'s Joe Early and his new resident, Mike Morton to help with the physicals and he talked with a psychologist, familiar with counseling emergency personnel, to do the psychological evaluations. Dr. Brackett thought the process should take about 3 weeks if everyone scheduled their appointments right away…they only had 24 trained Paramedics so far. There were two more classes about to commence in a few weeks—one at Harbor General and one at Rampart. They would get their physicals and psych assessments once they received their certification, too.

"What in the hell is this?" John Gage nearly yelled. "We have to get physicals and see a shrink?"

Roy patted his shoulder to calm him, "Johnny, its okay. It's all part of the program…"

"No, this is not what I signed up for!" John cut him off.

"What's the big deal, Junior," Roy continued, "You had a physical when you went through the academy, and they did a mental assessment then, too. This is not that much different."

John was inconsolable. He slammed his locker door after he shoved the paper inside. He stormed out into the bay toward the Captain's office. He knocked at the closed door and heard a gruff, "Enter." Johnny opened the door and stepped inside.

"Gage, good morning. What can I do for you?" Captain Stanley motioned for is young Paramedic to sit.

"I'll stand, Cap. Cap, the reason I am in here is that we got this…this..summons to go to Rampart to get complete physicals and psych assessments. I don't want to do it, Cap." John Gage mumbled out the words as his Captain looked on in silence.

Captain Stanley nodded his head. He had only worked with Gage a short time. Station 51 was a new Station and one of the first to have Paramedics. Hank Stanley had only been Captain at the station for a few months. He knew the Fire Department was venturing into new territory with the Paramedic Program and was ready for whatever came his way…after all, that is why he had a stripe on his helmet, right? The Captain looked at his young charge, who had taken a seat, and patted John's knee, "Gage, by what I understand, this is going to be the procedure for all new Paramedics. The Chief and the doctors want to be sure that the added stress of the job does not take any addition toll on you-physically or mentally. I actually think it is a pretty good idea."

John Gage looked at his Captain as though he had slapped him in the face. "You agree with this new policy, Cap?" Johnny yelped.

"Yeh, Pal, I do. I think that our job is tough enough—and, then you add all the extra training and skills guys've learned. You're doing twice the job and getting the same pay and benefits. The stress may be too much for some guys…and, I think we need to be monitoring that so we can intervene if it becomes necessary. Gage, call and make your appointment." Captain Stanley stood and motioned for Gage to leave, "We have to get on with roll call and duty assignments."

Gage left the Captain's office even angrier than he had been before. "_How could Cap agree with this_?" John thought. "I'm not gonna call them. They can call ME if they want me to come in." John huffed under his breath.

Two weeks later, all the currently certified Paramedics had made appointments for their physicals and most of them had met with the psychologist, too. All, except for one, John Gage. "_He is my problem child_," Brackett pondered, "_I'm gonna have to MAKE him do this and that's not gonna do anything to improve our rapport; that's for sure_." Brackett stepped out of his office just in time to see Roy DeSoto and John Gage standing at the Nurse's Station talking with Dixie.

"Here goes," Brackett sighed.

"John Gage. Just the man I was looking for. Can I see you for a second?" Brackett called down the hall.

Johnny turned his head toward the voice and his eyes seethed, "What does he want", he said aloud.

"Have you scheduled your physical yet, Junior? Maybe he wants to reschedule or something." Roy offered.

Johnny just glared at Roy while he walked toward Brackett's office. Roy was still getting to know his partner, but that was a look he hoped he'd never have to see again.

"What is that all about?" Dixie asked Roy. Roy just shrugged his shoulders.

As Johnny walked in to Room #127—Dr. Brackett's personal office—he felt like a little kid being called to see the principal—and, he certainly had a lot of experience with THAT from his childhood. He walked in to the moderately decorated office and stood between the chairs in front of the doctor's desk. "Have a seat, Johnny," Dr. Brackett said in his nicest tone…trying to ease the tension in the room.

"I'm okay, doc. What's this about?" Johnny questioned, but already knew the answer.

"Well, Johnny, you are the only Paramedic who has not scheduled your complete physical or met with the psychologist. I had hoped to review all the findings by the end of next week, but I need to have your results in order to do that."

"Why can't you just use the physical I had when I entered the Department? It wasn't that long ago, you know…" Johnny trailed off…trying to appease the doctor.

"Johnny, we need to have a full physical—full body x-rays; complete blood tests; a complete neurological work-up; and, the psych assessment. The physical you had when you entered the department was not that extensive. And, we need to account for any injuries you have had since you entered the department, too." Dr. Brackett explained.

"Doc, I swallowed some smoke a few times, that's all. Do I really have to do this?" Johnny pleaded.

"_Why is he so adamantly against this_," Dr. Brackett wondered, before saying, "Yes, Johnny, you do. If I have to order you to do it on your next day off, I will. But, I would like you to schedule it yourself, when you are available."

"Whatever, doc. I'll come by tomorrow after shift change…about 8:30, okay with you?" Johnny relented.

"I will be here, Johnny." Dr. Brackett said, but only to a closing door as Johnny had stormed out of the room.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 2

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship forever.

Johnny sat in front of his locker staring at the floor when Roy walked in the locker room. They had just returned from their off day and Roy was well-rested. Roy was still trying to get a read on his partner and had determined that, when Johnny was quiet like this, something was really wrong. Roy had discovered that Johnny was a ball of energy and a non-stop talker. He sometimes enjoyed these rants that could go on for hours if the klaxons did not save the day...but, his partner was quiet and that told him something was bothering him.

Roy tried to get Johnny to talk, but every time he brought up the subject, they were toned out or someone interrupted their discussion. "_I am going to get to the bottom of this, come hell or high water_",Roy determined.

"Where's Johnny?" Roy asked to the group of men sitting in the day room. He looked around for someone to answer.

Captain Stanley acknowledged the question with, "He's out back. I think he's up the hose tower."

Roy walked out the back door to the parking area and where they hung the hose. Johnny was indeed sitting in the hose tower with his legs dangling off the side. "What's bugging you, Junior?" Roy said under his breath as he walked over to the tower. "Hey, you gonna come down so we can talk? Or, do I have to come up there?" Roy called up to his pensive partner. Roy did not want to climb the tower, but he would, if it was necessary to get through to Johnny.

Johnny answered by turning away from the ledge and coming down the stairs. He walked past Roy and went to lean on his Rover. Roy followed…"So…" Roy prompted.

Johnny's arms were crossed and Roy could tell he was definitely lost in deep thought. Johnny broke the seemingly eternal silence with, "Just so you know, I did the physical and saw the shrink yesterday on my day off."

"That's good. It wasn't so bad was it?" Roy did not think that those two appointments could have Johnny so visibly upset.

"Roy…uh…Roy…"

"What is it, Johnny? Are you okay?" Roy began to believe that maybe his partner was sick or something had been found in the blood tests. "Did they find something wrong when they checked you out?"

"Hmmph", Johnny gruffed…"if you only knew."

Worried now, Roy put his hand on Johnny's shoulder and made the younger man turn to face him. "Johnny. Hey, Junior, this is me. Tell me what's going on. Are you sick?"

"No, Roy. It's nothing like that. I didn't mean to worry you or make it seem like that", Johnny tried to put Roy at ease. "It's just…well, Roy, I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have that great of a childhood, and talking to shrinks really bothers me, that's all."

Roy sighed, "Well, I don't like it much either, Johnny. But, it can't be all that bad, can it?"

"You don't know the half of it, Roy…" Johnny began before the klaxons sounded. Roy bit his lip, angry for the interruption, but he thought he heard a great sigh of relief from Johnny, as if he was grateful he did not have to finish.

They treated two children on the run they were toned out for. The kids had been riding their bikes when one was hit by an oncoming car. Though the child was not badly injured, Johnny seemed rattled. Roy then realized that Johnny tended to get like that when they responded to runs involving children. "_He's just a big kid himself_," Roy thought, "_He probably identifies with them in some way_." Roy didn't know how close to the truth he really was.

The rest of the shift was busy and Roy was unable to get his partner talking again. But, Johnny seemed to have lighted up a bit and was joking at the dinner table with Chet and Marco. Roy was relieved that whatever was bothering Johnny seemed to have passed; at least for the time being.

The next morning, Johnny and Roy were changing to go home when Roy offered, "Johnny, you want to come by the house for some breakfast. JoAnne will have a big breakfast waiting since the kids are out of school today."

Johnny thought about it. He was hungry…he was always hungry. And, he loved spending time with Roy's family. "Yeah, Partner. If it's okay with JoAnne, that sounds great." He was getting close to Roy and his family and Johnny finally felt a belonging he had not felt in a long time. "I'll follow you. Gotta stop at the gas station on the way tho."

Roy and Johnny said their good-byes to their friends and co-workers and set off to Roy's house. When Roy pulled in the gas station, he allowed Johnny to pass him to get to the pump. Johnny jumped out and ran around the side of the Rover to begin pumping the gas. "_He's back to his old_ _self_," Roy thought as he saw Johnny smiling and putting his face up toward the sun to feel the heat on his face. Roy could not help but notice Johnny's striking features…his tanned and toned skin, his sculpted cheekbones, and his dark hair and eyes. Roy thought that these features must come from his Native American heritage. Roy knew very little about Johnny's past, but he did know that he was part Indian…Johnny had shared stories of how some of the guys at his old station really razzed him about being part Indian—even to the point of some really terrible pranks. But, to Roy, it made no difference and he could not understand the bigotry some people had.

"Hey, Redskin" came the yell that pulled Roy and Johnny out of their daze. Johnny ignored it as he had become accustomed to the racial slurs. Roy searched for the person behind the voice. "Hey, can't you hear me you stupid injun or did all that drum-bangin' make you deaf?"

Roy looked to see if Johnny would react…Johnny finished pumping the gas, put the cap back on his tank and then went inside the store to pay. Roy had opened his car door and stepped out to help defend his partner, if needed. When Johnny came back out, the racial slurs continued as Johnny got into his Rover and drove off. Roy, dumbfounded, got back into his car and followed. Once at Roy's house, Johnny parked on the curb as Roy pulled into the drive. Roy wanted to talk to Johnny about what happened at the gas station and started to say something to him when they were interrupted…

"Daddy…you're home!" came a cry from Chris, Roy's five year old son. "And, you brought Uncle Johnny, Yeah!"

Johnny could see the concern on Roy's face and just waved it off. He motioned his head toward Chris who was now begging to be picked up by Roy. Roy picked up his son and started in the door with Johnny close behind. Roy really wanted to discuss the incident, but he saw that Johnny busied himself with the children and asking JoAnne about her recipe for biscuits—something about the smell reminded him of his mother's cooking.

After breakfast, Johnny thanked JoAnne and gave her a quick hug. He hugged the children and spun Chris in the air a few times at Chris' request. Then he spun Jenny around a few times, too, so he would be an "equal opportunity uncle". Both Roy and Johnny were tired from their shift and, both knew the next thing on the agenda would be a long nap. They were due on duty the next morning at 8:00…Roy thought he would talk more with Johnny then.

But, he would not get the chance.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 3

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

When Roy entered the station's parking area, he did not really expect to see Gage's Rover there. Gage was almost always late—or rather, "Right on time" as Gage told it. Roy went in the back door of the station and crossed into the locker room. He began to dress for his shift when Charlie Dwyer approached him. "Hey, Roy. I guess you're stuck with me for a while. Johnny's gonna be comin' late today." He said.

"Why? What's goin' on."

"Don't know", Dwyer offered, "Just know that Cap told me to stick around for a couple hours."

Roy was worried. He had been partnered with John Gage for nearly a year and he had been through some minor "mishaps" that caused Roy to be a worrier. But, he had not heard from his partner since they had breakfast after their last shift together. Roy was hoping they could talk about what had happened at the gas station, and why Johnny did not care to share his past with anyone. That would all have to wait now. "_But, why_?" Roy wondered.

At Rampart, Dr. Brackett had two files on his desk and was awaiting the arrival of Firefighter/Paramedic John Gage. Dr. Kelly Brackett had reviewed all the medical and mental assessments on all the currently certified paramedics, and was only disturbed by one file. The test results for John Gage caused him great concern. He even called in Dr. Joe Early for consultation. In preparation for his meeting this morning, Kel Brackett called to get a copy of Gage's complete Fire Department file as well. He was concerned when he only found one person listed as next of kin; an aunt who lived in the next county. He would wait to see how his meeting with John Gage went before contacting her…

"Come in," Kel replied at the knock on his door. He had never been nervous meeting with a patient before. He wiped his hands on his lab coat as he got up to greet his visitor.

John Gage entered with his head down and hands in his pockets. He nodded and put a hand out, "Good morning, Dr. Brackett. You wanted to see me?"

Kel firmly shook the man's hand and nodded his greetings and asked Johnny to take a seat. The young paramedic did so as if in a trance. "Johnny, this meeting is unconventional and I'm not certain I know what I am going to say or do…but, I needed to talk with you about the tests we did." Kel began.

Johnny took a deep breath as if he was preparing himself for what was coming next. He made eye contact with the doctor, but knew immediately that was the wrong thing to do. Johnny's eyes would betray him…he knew that. He had been told since he was a young boy that his eyes showed his every emotion—angry, sad, happy, tired—his eyes truly were "the windows to his soul." He broke the connection as Brackett continued.

"Johnny, I have looked over your medical records, the tests that we ran, and your department file. I have some concerns and I hope you can give me some answers to my questions. Are you ready for some hard questions, Son?" Brackett did not know where that last word came from, but he felt it was needed to put the man at ease. But, it served just the opposite when he saw Johnny bristle at the word.

"I will answer any questions you have, doc. If that is what I hafta do to keep doing my job." Johnny retorted.

"_This is gonna be real fun_," Brackett thought as he began again… "Johnny, your x-rays show quite a history of bone fractures. Nearly every one of your ribs has some evidence of fracture. Your right radius and ulna, left and right tib/fib, multiple clavicle and scapular fractures, and…then there're the multiple skull fractures. Your lungs show scarring far beyond what you have experienced with smoke inhalation. There is extensive scarring on your back and legs as well. Johnny, in reviewing your hospital and departmental files, all these injuries seem to have been inflicted prior to joining the Fire Department. Can you explain this to me?" Brackett's concern was evident as he listed the abnormalities in x-rays and other tests.

Johnny sighed deeply. His eyes scanned the room as if he were searching for an answer on the walls of Dr. Brackett's office. He finally spat out, "I was a clumsy kid, doc. I had asthma when I was little and got sick a lot. What do you want me to say?" Johnny shrugged his shoulders and then stared at the floor, hoping that would end the conversation.

Brackett moved to the chair beside Johnny and put a sympathetic hand on Johnny's shoulder…"Johnny, when I see x-rays like this, I suspect something far more serious than an uncoordinated kid. There are just so many injuries and breaks a child can sustain on his own. I believe that someone else was responsible for these injuries. Is that true?"

Johnny wanted to melt into the floor. He had kept his past hidden for so long; he had almost begun to believe it did not actually happen to him, but to someone else. Without the nightmares and scars he had as constant reminders, he had hoped he would forget all about it. But, now, everyone would know…and, that was something Johnny Gage tried very hard to have NOT happen. Johnny shook his head "Doc, I don't know what you think you know, but I was just a real clumsy kid. I fell a lot as a little kid. I got beat up a few times in school. And, I got into a couple car accidents, too. Really, doc, I used to be a real mess." Johnny lied.

Dr. Brackett went to sit down behind his desk. He had to try another way to get the man to talk. "Well, Johnny. How 'bout I call your aunt? Her name and number are here in your file," he picked up the phone, "Let's just get her on the phone now, huh?" He began to dial.

Something snapped in Johnny and he bolted out of the chair and pushed the buttons on the phone to end the connection, causing Brackett to back up a bit in his chair. "NO," Johnny yelled, "We will NOT bring her into this. What the hell do you want from me?" Hearing Johnny's screams from the hall, Dr. Joe Early knocked quickly and then entered the office to see Johnny standing over his friend's desk, and the other doctor staring wildly at the angry man in front of him.

"Johnny, calm down. What's going on here, huh? Kel, what's going on?" Joe pleaded.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 4

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

The men had never seen John Gage angry before. Since the night about a year ago when he and his Rescue partner, Tony, had lost the fight to save a man from an electrical pole, anyone would be hard-pressed to find a time when John Gage showed his anger. Johnny was good at two things—his job and hiding his emotions.

"I'm sorry, doc." Johnny turned to see Dr. Early's face. "I shouldn't have done that. It's just that, I...I...I don't want you to call her. She doesn't know about my…my…my past…I don't want her to know. I didn't really want anyone to know." He sunk back down into the chair.

The two men looked at Johnny then at each other, and back to Johnny again. The man was visibly upset and Dr. Brackett was sorry he had been the cause, but he knew he had to press on in this discussion. Treading carefully, Brackett asked, "Johnny, is there anything we can do to make this easier on you?"

"_Yeah_," thought Johnny, "_just leave me alone about it_!" But, he knew that was not an option now. The cat had come out of the bag and he would have to face the consequences. The young man was quiet for a while and the doctors allowed the silence.

_Flashback to when Johnny was 4 years old: _

"_One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back." _Johnny loved his mother's stories. She told them to him before bed, when he was sick or hurt, and when he just wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

"_Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream. "Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?" _Johnny loved the way his mother used different voices for the characters in her story…the voice for the scorpion sounded very sly and mischievous.

_"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't try to __kill__ me?" asked the frog hesitantly. _The frog's voice sounding deep and "croaky".

_"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!" _

_Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!" _

_"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!" _

_"Alright then...how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog. _

_"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?" _

_So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current. _

_Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs. _

_"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?" _

_The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drowning frog's back. _

_"I could not help myself. It is my nature." _

_Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river._

Johnny's mother explained to him that humans can decide on how they will act and react and do not have to rely on their nature to determine who they will be. She told him this story many times before she died.

Johnny decided early on that he was not going to allow his upbringing and hard life determine his "nature." His mother had raised him to be a kind, gentle and caring young man…he determined in his mind that was what he would be. His anger toward Dr. Brackett caused him to feel as though he let his mother down. "I'm sorry I got so angry. I think that there is something that would make this easier. How 'bout you request my medical files from Oklahoma. I think you will get most of your answers from them. And, after you review those files, then we can meet again, if you still have questions, that is. Now, can I go? I don't want to miss a whole shift and I am pretty late now as it is."

Brackett really didn't want to delay the meeting, but felt the new information from Johnny's previous medical records would be a good resource. He hated the delay, but allowed it for Johnny's sake. "Yes, we can reschedule. But, Johnny, this meeting IS going to have to happen." Brackett emphasized, as he got the papers ready for Johnny to sign for the release of his medical records.

Johnny signed the documents and nodded his head. They set the meeting time for several days later to give the records time to arrive and be reviewed. And, it allowed Johnny time to rest after his 24 hour shift. Johnny asked if Roy could attend their next meeting and neither doctor balked at the idea.

Johnny left Dr. Brackett's office feeling a little bit better about things—he still did not want to tell his long, sad story—but, he was glad he could do it in his own way. Johnny got into his Rover, took a deep breath and started his drive to the station. "_I hope the rest of the day goes better than the first few hours did_," he thought as he pulled out into traffic.

Alas, the Spirits had other things in mind.

NOTE: The story of the frog and the scorpion (also sometimes a turtle and scorpion) was a tale I heard as a child and found a version on the Internet to add for story development…

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 5

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online. Also, some of the plotline for the next few chapters came from another show I enjoyed the short time it was on: "Rescue 77"—it was very much the "Emergency!" of the 1990's. The episode "The Wedding" had two newlyweds trapped in a vehicle and only ONE could be saved…Gregory Widen, who wrote the movie "Backdraft" and a former firefighter himself, wrote for "Rescue 77" and used his own experiences.

Johnny could see the ominous clouds rolling in from the mountains. He loved the smell of fresh falling rain, but was glad it waited to start until he got to the station. A few light drops began just as he parked his Rover in the back of Station 51. He saw Charlie Dwyer at his car and Charlie waved a 'hello.' As Johnny stepped out of his car, Charlie yelled at him, "Hey, you got latrine duty today, dude." Johnny waved and smiled as he made his way into the back door of the station. Charlie left in his car to get some much-needed rest since Gage had arrived to assume his duties.

Johnny slipped in, nearly unnoticed. Captain Stanley called Johnny into his office before he could get into the locker room. "Have a seat, John." Cap motioned toward the chair.

"Thanks, Cap. But, I will stand, if you don't mind." Johnny answered, not knowing why he was summoned, but having a good idea.

"Everything alright, Pal."

"Sure, Cap. Everything's fine. Doctor Brackett just wanted to see me this morning to go over some of the tests. Nothin's wrong…just following up. You know procedure and all." Johnny lied.

"Okay. As long as nothin's wrong. You got latrine duty today. Dwyer didn't get a chance to get started since he and Roy were called out just after roll call. Get to it, John. It will be lunch time before we know it."

Johnny let out a huge sigh of relief as soon as he left the Captain's office. He was not sure if Dr. Brackett had told Captain Stanley the reason for his tardiness, and was glad that his confidentiality had been protected. Johnny knew that he would have to tell his friends sooner or later—he had just hoped it would be later—MUCH later! Johnny moved into the locker room to put away his duffle bag before beginning his chores. He nodded to Roy on the way as he saw him mopping the bay. Roy followed him into the locker room, hoping they could talk.

"CHET!" came Johnny's cry.

Everyone came running to find Johnny covered in shaving cream from a spring-loaded "bomb" from the Phantom. Everyone was snickering except for Johnny.

"What's wrong, Gage? Did the Phantom punish you for being late this morning?" Chet snickered.

Johnny, wiping himself off, was not in the mood for pranks today. He flashed a half-smile and waved everyone away to return to their duties. Johnny pulled out a new uniform shirt as he finished wiping off the last of the shaving cream. Roy stood next to him as he changed.

"So, what was up this morning?" Roy attempted to get some answers from Johnny.

"Oh, nothin' really. Dr. Brackett just wanted to go over some of the tests they ran and, well, that's all." He lied again.

"You're not sick or anything, right?" Roy worried.

"NO, mother, I am not sick. I would tell you if I was sick, wouldn't I?" Both men gazed at each other and then smiled and laughed. Gage would rather die than to admit he was sick or hurt!

"Really, Roy, I am okay. Just routine stuff, really. I gotta get to the latrine duty before we get called out. It looked like a thunderstorm was brewing when I came in—that could mean a very busy shift, if you know what I mean." Johnny attempted to sideline the talk to more tame matters.

"I know what you mean, Junior. Okay, let's get back to work."

The men all settled into their chores and before they knew it, lunch time had arrived. It was Marco's turn to cook and he made a wonderful enchilada casserole from his mother's recipe. The men sat at the table in companionable silence relishing the fine meal they had just consumed. Marco and Mike were wonderful cooks—both could cook just about anything—and they showed their love for their brother firemen with the food they cooked.

Roy was just about to engage Johnny in conversation when the klaxons sounded.

"Station 51, Station 38, Station 10, Engine 110—Bridge collapse on Canyon Hills Road—Mile Marker 112—repeat—Canyon Hills Road, Mile Marker 1-1-2. Time out 14:17"

"Station 51 – KMG365" Captain Stanley replied and jumped into the engine.

Johnny expertly navigated Roy, and the engine following, to the exact mile marker they were called to...he knew this place well and had been here many times hiking, camping and just to get away from it all. The canyon walls were steep and made of clay and hard dirt…the rains could cause some major problems with mud slides, and, it seemed, bridge collapses. It had taken them nearly an hour due to the weather and road conditions to arrive at the scene.

Roy and Johnny jumped out to put on their turnout coats and gloves. The rain fell at a steady pace. Cap turned to them and yelled, "Roy, check the truck; John, you go to the car. Marco, Chet, grab the jaws and port-a-power in case we need them." The men followed their leaders' instructions without question or comment.

Roy rushed to the truck to see if there were any survivors. He and Johnny were the only paramedics on scene, and if he was right, they would be for a long time. The other stations were on the other side of the bridge that had fallen onto the car that Johnny was now racing to. Roy sent up a silent prayer as he reached the truck's cab.

Johnny reached the car and saw that the roof had been crushed by the fallen bridge and debris. He peered through a small opening and saw two victims. He could not tell whether they were alive or not. He made a quick assessment and yelled to Marco for the jaws. Marco and Chet arrived to help Johnny as he prepared to pry the roof of the car up so he could see if the occupants were alive or not.

Roy found that the truck had two victims and both were alive. The driver, a man of about 60, was seriously injured. Roy thought that he might not make it. The other victim was a younger female, and she was unconscious, but did not seem to have any serious outward injuries. Roy called for help to extricate the victims from the mangled vehicle. Men from Engine 110 joined him with their equipment.

Roy had been right, the other stations—38 and 10—were on the other side of the collapsed bridge and the weather would be delay their arrival. Roy called out for Captain Stanley to get an ETA on the ambulance and other assistance. The rain started coming down harder. "This is **NOT** good" Roy mumbled to himself.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 6

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online. Also, some of the plotline for the next few chapters came from another show I enjoyed the short time it was on: "Rescue 77"—it was very much the "Emergency!" of the 1990's. The episode "The Wedding" had two newlyweds trapped in a vehicle and only ONE could be saved…Gregory Widen, who wrote the movie "Backdraft" and a former firefighter himself, wrote for "Rescue 77" and used his own experiences.

Johnny and Chet were able to pry the roof of the car up enough so that Johnny could crawl into the small opening. As he prepared to do so, he took off his helmet and his turnout coat and handed them to Marco. "Give these back to me once I am inside. The opening is too small for me to squeeze through with them on." Johnny said breathlessly. He noticed the rain was coming down harder and he said a quick prayer for the victims in the car as he pushed his legs through the small space.

Once inside, Johnny allowed his eyes to adjust and shifted toward the front seat and where his attention should be. He forgot all about his helmet and turnout coat as he began to assess the driver and passenger. Marco had set the items down on top of the vehicle as he was summoned by their Captain. Johnny called out, "Hey, I am here to help you. My name's John Gage and I am a Firefighter/Paramedic with the Los Angeles County Fire Department. Can you hear me?" Johnny heard a low groan and was grateful for the noise. "_At least one of them is alive._" he thought.

With help, Roy was able to get the two victims from the truck and had them in a makeshift "hut" of draped emergency blankets and firemen holding the corners. Roy was grateful for the shelter, no matter how crude, as he quickly assessed his patients and contacted Rampart.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, do you read?"

"We read you. Go ahead 51" came Dr. Morton's reply.

Roy relayed his patients' vital signs and conditions to the doctor and was given orders to start IV fluids. Roy was hoping the ambulance and another squad would arrive soon. He did not know what Johnny was doing, but he knew that it did not look good with that car crushed underneath that bridge. They were going to need more help, and fast.

Johnny was able to determine that both victims were alive, though barely. He sent Chet to get the trauma box and other things he would need to stabilize the victims until they could get them out of the car. Johnny looked around to see how he could maneuver to get vital signs on the young man who was driving. He shifted as much as he could and found an angle that allowed him access to the man's arm. As he reached through the seats, he felt a hand on his and he jumped a little. "Are we going to die?" Johnny was not certain he had even heard anything until he saw that the young woman in the passenger's seat had regained consciousness.

"My name is Johnny Gage. I am a Fireman/Paramedic and we will get you out of here soon." He said, not sure if he was telling the truth.

"I'm Beth. Is Kenny okay?" Johnny assumed she was asking about the driver.

"He has a pulse, Beth. I am going to get some more information on both of you in just a minute. I am just waiting on my friends to bring me my equipment." Johnny said, rather softly and then yelled out the opening "TRAUMA BOX!"

"Beth, can you tell me where you hurt, sweetie." Johnny asked beginning his assessment anyway.

"My arm hurts, my right arm. My legs hurt real bad, too." Beth sighed.

"What about your head? Do you remember hitting your head?" Johnny continued.

"No, but there is something dripping down my face, I guess it might be blood, huh?" Johnny thought he heard a weak cry.

"Beth, it's going to be okay. I am going to do the best I can to get you and your friend out of here alive. I promise." Why did he have to do that—Johnny always got too emotionally involved and now he went a made a promise he was pretty sure he would not be able to keep.

"TRAUMA BOX!" He yelled out the opening again as he wondered what in the world was keeping them from bringing him what he needed.

Roy's male patient had coded and they had to defibrillate him several times to get him back to sinus rhythm. They were still waiting on the ambulance when the slide occurred. They heard it before they saw it…a massive river of mud and water washed down the hill beside them. They looked on in horror as it seemed as though it was going to flood over the car that was crushed under the bridge—the one that Johnny was in right now.

Captain Stanley had to hold both Marco and Chet back as they tried to run for the car that held their friend and his two patients. They looked on in horror as the water and mud rushed past the car and over the edge. They were relieved when it did not touch the car at all. But, right now, they were separated from the car as they heard Johnny scream, yet again, for the trauma box.

Johnny thought he heard rushing water, but did not give it another thought as he continued his assessment of Beth and Kenny. He had found out from Beth that they were high school sweethearts and were just engaged to be married the night before. They were on their way to her parent's house to tell them about the upcoming nuptials. Johnny's hands expertly surveyed Kenny's arms, torso and head for broken bones and other injuries as he listened to Beth.

"When's the wedding?" Johnny prompted as Beth faded off…

"Oh, I don't even know if there will be a wedding. My dad hates Indians, so he won't let me marry Kenny in the church. We will probably have to go to a Justice of the Peace or somethin' like that." Beth said sadly.

Johnny's heart and stomach lurched. He was reminded of his own youth and he let his mind wander while he waited for his friends to help…

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 7

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online. Also, plotline for the accident is from another fave show of mine "Rescue 77". The "Wedding" episode had a married couple trapped in a car and one had to be sacrificed to save the other. GREAT show (an Emergency! for the 1990's!).

_Flashback: _

_Johnny had heard the story of his parents' union many times…Roderick Gage was a full-blooded Seminole Indian and had been on the Tribal Council since he was 17 years old. When he met Sarah Wilson, who was a Christian Missionary, he fell head-over-heels in love. He knew that the Council and his family would not approve of him marrying a white woman, but he did not care. He loved Sarah and wanted to make a family with her._

_They lived on the Brighton Seminole Reservation in Florida when Johnny was born. He was born a few weeks prematurely at home. The hospital in town did not want to treat a "half-breed", as that is what he was called most of his life, but were forced to when the Reservation hospital sent the Gage's there when they did not have the equipment to care for a premature baby. _

_Johnny was in the hospital for five days after he was born and minimal care was granted. His parents finally took him home, knowing they could provide more care and love than those people in the hospital did. Johnny's lungs were underdeveloped and he had some breathing problems, but his voracious appetite for food and life was evident and he grew stronger every day._

_Johnny loved to hear his mother's stories—she told stories of his Indian heritage, her Christian faith, and other stories of animals, princes and princesses. Johnny delighted in hearing his mother's voice. He chased after his father from the moment he could walk as Roderick worked on the Reservation land, breaking horses and herding cattle. Johnny was a weak child—mostly due to his asthma and underdeveloped lungs. He would get winded easily and fall down. He had a few broken bones even before the age of five. The clinic on the Reservation did what they could, but it always seemed like they only did the minimum for the little "half-breed" boy. Johnny was not thriving on the Reservation. Roderick and Sarah knew that they had to do something or their son would not live a full, happy life. _

_A visiting doctor treated Johnny during one of his clinic visits. The kind, white doctor noticed that Johnny's chart showed three bouts of pneumonia, various broken bones, and a few ear infections over the boy's short life. Concerned for the child, the doctor told Roderick and Sarah that he would do better in a different climate and with better medical care—and told them they should move to the Seminole Trust Land in Oklahoma. The doctor had worked a few months at the clinic there and thought it was much better equipped than the one there in Florida. A few months later, Roderick Gage moved his little family to Wewoka, Oklahoma. Johnny was five years old._

_Johnny thrived in Oklahoma. The doctor that suggested they move to Oklahoma gave Sarah Gage exercises to help Johnny increase his bone and muscle strength and told her ways to help with his lung issues, too. Roderick continued on the Tribal Council and found that his "mixed" family still faced bigotry, but was more accepted among the tribal leaders in this new environment. Roderick purchased a small parcel of the trust lands and started his own horse ranch. As Johnny grew, he began to help his father more and more and increased his strength and stamina. _

_Johnny thought that life could not be better…until…his parents had died when he was 12 years old. It had been a rainy night and his father lost control of the car…_

Johnny was brought out of his reverie when he heard Marco's voice, "Here's the trauma box, Johnny. Sorry it took so long. We had to wait for the mud slide to stop and cross over to you."

"'s okay" Johnny mumbled as he brought his focus back to the present. "Beth, are you still awake?" he asked.

When he did not get an answer, he quickened his pace. He put the blood pressure cuff around the upper part of her arm and concentrated on his task. He took her pulse and then respirations and yelled them out to Marco. Marco wrote them down on a small pad of paper as he tried to keep it from getting soken wet from the torrential rain. Johnny moved his attention to Kenny, who had yet to regain consciousness. He quickly got vital signs and called them out to Marco, too. "Be right back, Johnny. I will call this into Rampart. Roy's getting ready to leave with the first two victims."

Johnny did not realize what Marco's last words meant, other than Roy would be riding in to Rampart with them. But, what Marco knew was that it meant Johnny would be the only paramedic on the scene once Roy left. The weather was preventing help from arriving and Marco knew that was not what Johnny needed to hear right now. Marco relayed the information Johnny gave him to the doctor's at Rampart. Marco wrote the orders the doctor's gave him down on the same pad of paper he used when Johnny was talking to him. Marco saw the ambulance arrive and Roy let out a big sigh.

Roy and Chet loaded his two victims into the ambulance. They knew that Johnny and his victims were not going to be freed for a long time. Roy hoped he would be able to get back to help his friend as he hopped into the ambulance. He left the Biophone behind for Johnny and took the HT to relay to Rampart through LA Dispatch if he needed it; for now his patients were stable. Chet closed the doors behind him and gave the customary two slaps and the ambulance was gone. The three men remaining from Station 51, Chet, Marco, and Cap, turned to look at the car that held their youngest crew member and his patients, and they all wished for a miracle that would not come.

The ambulance went as fast as it could. There had been several mud slides down this same canyon road and left debris behind. The ambulance swayed as the driver maneuvered the vehicle around rocks and piles of mud left behind. The 25 minute trip took nearly an hour, and Roy was grateful when the doors opened to reveal two orderlies with a gurney. They had made it to Rampart…now, could he make it back to the scene?

Roy gave the updated vital signs and patient information to Dr. Early and Dr. Morton as his patients were wheeled into their exam rooms. Dixie was standing in the hall directing the gurneys to the appropriate rooms. When she saw Roy, she smiled. The look on his face made her smile fade quickly. "What's wrong, Roy?" she queried.

Roy, defeated, looked at her with sad eyes and said, "The County police closed the road. I got down, but I can't get back up, and neither can anything else. They are stranded up there and I don't even know how Johnny and his patients are doing."

"Well, I can help you there. Marco just radioed in the vital signs and Dr. Brackett is at the base station now waiting for more news. C'mon, let's go see what's going on." She took him by the arm and he let himself be led as if he were a little kid lost at a park.

Johnny sighed as he finished with Kenny's IV. He adjusted the drip and leaned over to check Beth's again as well. His patients were stable, for now. "_Now, how the hell are we going to get out of here_?", Johnny wondered. Just then, Cap came to the opening in the car.

"Hey, Pal. How's it going?"

"Okay, Cap. What's the news on getting us out of here?" Johnny asked wearily. He had been in the car for over an hour now.

"We are using all the manpower we have to chip away at these underpinnings and get your guy free. It is just going to take a while. We can't get any more help since the County closed the road due to the weather and the slides. It could be another 2 or 3 hours, Pal. Do you have any better ideas?" Cap shouted over the pouring rain.

Johnny appreciated that his Captain asked him for his opinion. He knew that meant a couple things—that Cap valued Johnny's opinion, and that his Captain was not certain the plan would produce the desired results. "Cap, it sounds like everyone is doing what they can. Is there any chance this rain is going to let up anytime soon?" Johnny asked.

"No, it's just going to get worse, I believe." With that, Johnny lost all hope of getting either Kenny or Beth out of this alive.

TBC

_**Author's Note: Emergency! writers never gave input on what Indian Tribe Johnny was. I chose the Seminole People's since that is Randy Mantooth's Indian heritage. Any issues, problems, mistakes are all mine. Research done online and from various other sources.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 8

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online. Also, plotline for the accident is from another fave show of mine "Rescue 77". The "Wedding" episode had a married couple trapped in a car and one had to be sacrificed to save the other. GREAT show (an Emergency! for the 1990's!).

_Flashback: _

_When Johnny's parents died, there was no other family to claim him, so he was placed in an orphanage in a nearby town. Johnny had to learn quickly how to face the bullies that teased and taunted him. He was a bit small for his age, and skinny, but he could defend himself when needed. And, these days, it was needed a lot. Johnny was beaten at least once a week by the older boys at the orphanage. The Nun's overlooked the abuse most of the time, but there was one, Sister Mary Margaret, who took pity on young John Gage and tried to help him._

_Sister Mary Margaret found a foster family just outside Wewoka, to take John in. She had met the mother at Mass several times and thought the family was lovely. Sister M's, as John called her, put Johnny in the seat beside her and drove him to his new home. "It's gonna be nice, John. You will see. There will be other children there, but not like here. You will be with a normal family again. I know you still miss your mom and dad, but these people are nice. You'll see." She tried to comfort the frightened boy. His arm was still in a cast from one of the beatings from the older boys._

_Sister M's dropped Johnny off with the Lewis family. He did like them, but was not able to stay long. As soon as they learned of his Indian heritage, they asked that he be placed with another family. They claimed they were not bigoted, but they just did not want their children to face any ridicule at their school when others found out about Johnny. Johnny didn't care anymore…he just began to fade in on himself and give up all hope of ever being happy again._

Johnny heard the noises as the men from his station, and the others who were able to respond before the road was closed, chipped away at the bridge that trapped this car and its occupants. He moved to get a new set of vitals and was surprised when he found that Beth was once again conscious. "Hey, Beth, you went to sleep for a while. How are you feeling now?" He prompted.

She tried to turn her head, and found she couldn't. "What's wrong with my neck?" She cried out.

Johnny reached over to calm her, "Nothing, nothing's wrong. I put a brace around your neck in case you had injured it. It is just a precaution. Kenny has one too. I also put a splint on your arm and you have an IV in this other one. It will help keep you going until they dig us out of here." Johnny spoke in a calm, kind, and reassuring voice. He felt Beth relax and that was his goal.

"What about Kenny? Is he okay?" She pleaded.

"He's stable for now. I put a cervical collar on him, too. And, he had a couple IV's goin'. His legs are trapped under the dash and I can't really see how badly he is hurt. But, they are going to get us out and we will put him in a MAST suit. It stands for 'medical anti-shock trousers'. See, Beth, his legs and pelvis are probably broken and he will probably have a lot of bleeding when we get him out, so we want to prevent him from going into shock. So this is gonna take awhile, okay?" Johnny tried to be as honest as he could. He was not exactly lying…there was a chance that Kenny would live, and that was why they were taking their time cutting and digging them out of the wreckage.

"Is God punishing us?" came her reply.

Johnny was stunned. He was uncertain what to say. He believed in God and had even accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior when he was eight, but he had drifted so far since his parents' died…he was at a loss for words.

"Mr. Gage, are you still there?" Beth asked.

"Yeah, I am. Hey, call me Johnny, will ya? Um, why would you think God is punishing you?"

Beth took a deep breath, and let it out. Johnny heard the bubbling and gurgling sound and winced. "_That's not good_," he thought to himself.

"Well, you know, a white girl and an Indian getting married. Maybe we shouldn't be together, you know?" Beth sighed again. Johnny could tell she was having trouble breathing. He noticed she was pale and sweating pretty heavily, too. He turned to the oxygen tank on his right and turned it up to 10 liters…as high as it would go.

He thought of what she said, and thought of his own parents and the way they died…he did not think he had any words to comfort her. "Beth, I don't think God punishes people for who they fall in love with. I think He would be happy that you found someone who loves you back and who would care enough about you to want to spend the rest of his life with you…" Johnny stopped as he realized she had again lost consciousness. He was grateful; because he was not sure he believed what he was saying.

Johnny reached over to check on Kenny's vital signs and saw that his eyes were opened. "_Had he just heard Beth's question and his reply_?" Johnny wondered. "Kenny. Kenny, can you hear me?" Johnny prompted.

"Yeah, I can hear ya. Who are you? Where am I? What's goin' on?" With each question, Kenny got more and more agitated.

"My name is John Gage. I am a Fireman/Paramedic with Los Angeles County. You and Beth were in a car accident and I am here to help you both get out safe and sound, okay. Calm down for me, now, okay?" Johnny soothed.

"Beth! Is Beth okay?"

"Yes, she is okay. She's right here next to you. She was awake just a few moments ago and told me that you two are getting married."

"Yeah. We were on our way to tell her parents. Oh, no, her parents…has anyone called our families'? Do they know where we are?" Kenny was worried only about Beth and their families…Johnny was impressed that the young man had no concern for himself, only others.

"Someone has contacted them, I'm sure. Let's just find out more about you, huh? Where do you hurt right now, Kenny?"

"Um, uh…my head, my chest and…I guess that's it. That's not too bad, huh?" Kenny deduced.

Johnny knew that his legs were crushed and there could be spinal damage, too if he could not feel his legs. "Yeah, that's good. Are you sure you don't hurt anywhere else?" Johnny continued. Kenny denied pain anywhere else and Johnny continued to get updated vital signs.

Marco came to the window to let Johnny know that Brackett wanted an update on his patients. Marco was not surprised that Johnny already had the needed information. Marco asked Johnny if he wanted him to bring the Biophone to him so he could talk to Dr. Brackett. "Yeah, Marco, if you can get me the Biophone that would be great!" Johnny said with some excitement. Marco did just that.

Johnny took the handset, "Rampart, this is Squad 51 calling in an update. Do you read?"

Brackett, Dixie, and Roy were all staring at the radio as if life-giving words were being emitted. "This is Kel, Johnny. What's going on there?" Roy swayed as he took a seat on the stool. He had not eaten or drank anything for several hours and was terribly worried about Johnny and the rest of his crew stuck up there on that canyon road in a torrential downpour.

"Uh, doc, the updated vitals are as follows: Victim #1, 18 year old female..." Johnny read off the vital signs. "She also has wheezing, shortness of breath, pale skin and excessive sweating." Johnny knew this meant that she probably had pulmonary edema. He quickly added, "Victim #2, 19 year old male, lower extremities crushed beneath the dashboard. Vital signs are holding steady for now. There was a moment of consciousness, but he is out now."

Dr. Brackett considered the information Johnny had just provided. He knew that Johnny was aware the girl could die if they did not get her to the hospital quickly. Her lungs were filling with fluid—most-likely blood—and, she would not survive much longer. "Squad 51, we have to get her in here now, dammit. How much longer till the boy's legs are free and they can be extracted?"

Johnny leaned toward the opening…he briefly wondered how in the world he had fit through that small opening. "How much longer, Cap?" He yelled.

Captain Stanley walked over and leaned down to talk to his youngest charge. "John. Pal…it's just a lot to dig through. We are making progress, but with this rain and the debris…probably another couple hours." He shrugged his shoulders as Johnny's head shook in disbelief.

"Uh, it will take another couple hours to dig us out Rampart." Johnny said.

Brackett said what they all knew was true, "She will drown in her own fluids or bleed to death in the next hour, Johnny. Isn't there a faster way to get her out of there?"

Johnny knew that there was a faster way…but, he also knew that it would mean certain death for Kenny. "Doc, I got an idea…I'll get back with you in a few." Johnny had set aside protocol and was just being a man who now had to make a decision on who would live and who would die. Roy, Dixie and Kel all said a silent prayer for their friend.

"Cap." Johnny called. "We HAVE to get her out now, or she is going to die. Is there anything we can do?"

"What did you have in mind, Pal?" his Captain asked.

"Well, maybe if we used chains and ropes and tie the rear axle to the engines…BOTH engines could pull this car out from under this heap…doncha think, Cap.?"

Captain Stanley shook his head… "Well, John, if you think that is our only choice to save her, then I guess we can try that. Let me get the guys to get us all hooked up and then we will get you all out of there."

Johnny's heart sunk. He would be glad to be out the car—he'd been in there for hours now. But, he did not want to face the fact that he was signing Kenny's death warrant by rushing the process of freeing them. "It's okay." Johnny heard a voice squeak as he was covering the two with yellow blankets he got from Marco.

"It's okay if I die and she lives." Johnny heard Kenny say. "I wouldn't want it any other way, sir. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. She was the only one who accepted me for who I was. I am part Indian, you know. And, that can be hard sometimes. But, when I was with her, nothin' mattered but us. I don't think her dad would have let her marry me anyway. But, just gettin' to ask her and seeing the smile on her face when I put that ring on her hand…all that is worth this right here. I told her I would love her till the day I died. I didn't lie, man…I didn't lie." Kenny was crying and could barely get his words out. He asked Johnny to put his hand on Beth's hand so he could be touching her when…when…well…Johnny finished covering the two to protect them from the possible debris and glass shards.

Johnny put Kenny's hand on Beth's and he heard the guys hooking up the chains and ropes to the car's axel. He hoped this would work, and that they would at least be able to save Beth, but even that wasn't certain. With the weather, how were they going to get her to the hospital…no vehicles, even emergency vehicles…had been allowed to come up the canyon road since the slides started.

Johnny heard Kenny's sobs and felt his own eyes getting moist. He wished he was anywhere else in the world except for where he was this very moment. He couldn't believe the past was coming back to haunt him like this…he was in the back seat of the car when his parents died, too. And, then, just like now, there was nothing he could do but wait until help arrived.

Johnny felt totally helpless when he heard the engines race behind him and he heard Kenny's voice say, "Can you tell her and my dad one thing for me man…just one thing…**Enka, ce'hecares!**" And, then Johnny felt the car moving…

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 9

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online.

Just as the car started moving, Captain Hank Stanley noticed something on the seat next to him. Glancing down he noticed it was Gage's helmet and turnout coat. "Dammit," he muttered allowed.

"What is it, Cap?" Mike Stoker asked as he carefully maneuvered the large fire engine backward down the canyon road pulling the car with Gage and the two victims inside from under the rubble of the bridge.

"Gage can always find a way to piss me off…even in a situation like this," Cap said as he glanced down toward the young paramedic's gear. Mike followed his eyes for a moment and realized what concerned his superior.

The progress was slow due to the weather, trying to keep the large engines synchronized, and trying to keep those in the car safe and alive. It seemed to take an eternity…

About the time Cap realized Gage's equipment was in the cab of the engine, Johnny realized, too that he did not have his helmet. "Shit," Gage cursed, "Cap is gonna kill me." He heard the moaning of the steel and concrete as the car was being pulled from the grip of the collapsed bridge. He called out to both Beth and Kenny, but did not hear a reply.

Soon the debris started flying-glass shards, rocks, mud, and metal. Johnny covered his eyes and face the best he could and crouched down as far as he was able. He could feel the tears in his skin as the glass ripped through his uniform shirt and into his flesh. The last thing he remembered was a scream…he didn't know if it was Beth, Kenny or himself…but, he welcomed the darkness that came.

A large piece of cement fell on top of the car just as it rolled from under the huge pile. The men in the Engine cab all cried out at the same time, "Johnny", but he would not hear them.

Chet and Marco were the first ones to the car once it was freed. They had been standing in the pouring rain watching as the car inched out from the rubble. They rushed to where they had last seen Gage's face…the small hole was now closed. They got the jaws and the K-12 and started tearing the roof off of the car. The rock that had fallen and smashed onto the roof of the car and, thankfully, rolled on off after it did major damage. Once the roof was off, the men called for Johnny, but they did not receive a reply.

"Cap, Johnny's in the back seat and it looks like he's hurt pretty bad." Marco yelled over the pouring rain. Two men from the other engine brought over their stokes and the one from 51's. They had three backboards with them as well.

Cap checked the pulse on the boy in the driver's seat. He was already dead. The young girl had a pulse, but it was weak. Chet checked Johnny and he was alive as well. They got the girl and Johnny out of the car and Cap called in to Rampart.

"Rampart, this is Engine 51, do you read?" Brackett, Dixie and Roy were not initially concerned that it was Cap's voice…Johnny would be busy with the patients once they were freed.

"Rampart here. Go ahead 51." Brackett replied, with hesitancy.

"We have a Code F—the boy is dead. The girl is out of the car and on a backboard ready for transport as soon as we are cleared. And, I have a Code I. Doctor Brackett, Johnny has a severe head wound, some other cuts that are bleeding a lot and he is unconscious." Cap reported.

That was just about the worse news they could hear…the girl was alive, but the only one who could ensure she get to the hospital in that same condition was now a patient himself and there was no one there who could help Johnny, either.

"Engine 51. What's the ETA on transport?" Brackett inquired.

"Unknown. The road is still closed due to slides and it is pouring down rain. We can't bring them in on the back of the engine…it wouldn't be safe." Cap commiserated.

Just then, Captain Stanley heard the sound of a vehicle approaching and when he turned, he saw a Mayfair Ambulance being driven by two fairly new paramedics…"_Gil Robinson and Belling…something_" Cap thought. He put the receiver back to his mouth and told Rampart that help had just arrived.

Gil jumped out of the ambulance and ran toward Captain Stanley. "What have we got Cap?" he asked. He had worked a few shifts at 51's and respected Captain Stanley a lot. He also admired both Gage and DeSoto…two of the first paramedics to ever use their skills in the field…everyone knew they were two of the best.

"One Code F, he's still in the car. The other has some breathing problems, and John Gage was hurt, too." Cap told Robinson as Bellingham walked up with their Squad's Biophone and Drug Box.

"Rampart this is Squad 38. Do you read?" Bellingham called into the Biophone as Robinson assessed Gage and the girl.

Joe Early had just walked up and seen the sad, dejected faces of his friends when they heard the call. "Go ahead, Squad 38, this is Dr. Early."

"We have arrived to 51's scene. We have an ambulance and are able to transport." Roy, Dixie and Brackett just stared at each other. Joe Early had not been aware of what was going on for the past few hours since he was in surgery with one of the victims Roy brought in earlier that day.

Brackett filled him in on what they knew of the girl's condition and what measure's Johnny had already taken to provide care for her. They also told him what Cap had said about Johnny's injuries. Joe pushed down the long black button and said, "Squad 38, give me an update on the girls condition and get me Gage's vitals NOW!" No one had heard Dr. Early yell like that before…they were all stunned, but did as they were told.

After establishing an IV for Johnny and getting them into the ambulance, Gil jumped into the back with Johnny and the girl, and Bellingham slammed the doors shut. He shrugged his shoulders at Chet's questioning eyes and got in the front of the ambulance and pulled away.

"How did those guys wrangle that ambulance" Chet asked aloud.

"I don't know and I don't care, as long as that girl and Gage make it to the hospital in time." Cap had said what they were all thinking.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 10

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Author's Note: I wondered about John Gage's ancestry for the years I watched Emergency! Since it was not expounded upon…it leaves a lot to our imaginations (what better fodder for Fan Fiction, huh?). I am taking a few liberties and much of my research was done online.

_Flashback:_

_Johnny had done okay at most of the foster homes he visited after leaving the Lewis'. But some of them had been pretty bad. He had nearly died at one of the places when the mother put four of the foster kids, including Johnny, in a locked shed in her back yard for three days. That had been the hottest summer on record and when the children were found, they were malnourished, dehydrated and nearly dead from heat exhaustion. At the clinic on the Reservation he saw the same doctor who had treated him in Florida and told his Father to move his family to Oklahoma. Johnny had heard a rumor that one of the other kids had actually died. But, all he knew was that he wished he had died. At least he would not have to endure any more pain._

_Right before he was saved—for that was how he viewed it—he had a particularly bad foster "dad." This man was not really a dad, he was actually the drug dealer of his foster mom. He was a big, mean guy and for some reason, he really hated Johnny. Johnny tried not to be at the house when he came 'round, but that was not always possible. Whenever "Daddy Dave", for that was what he demanded to be called, came around, Johnny was beaten within an inch of his life. This went on for a year before someone finally noticed the horrible scars on his back and legs and "saved" him._

_Johnny went to seven different foster homes before his high school track coach finally took him in and made him a part of his family. Mr. Garner had encouraged Johnny to try out for track and helped him with his troubles when he could. When Mr. Garner stepped in, sometimes things became worse for John, so he tried to pick the battles he helped with. When he saw Johnny beaten to a pulp and blood soaking through the back of his t-shirt one morning, Mr. Garner went to the principal who then called the police. Johnny never saw "Daddy Dave" again._

_When he went to live with the Garners, he was scared, bitter and angry. He had so many emotions flooding him that he did not know what to do. The Garners sent him to see a psychologist for a few weeks. He hated it…he hated talking about his feelings and would much rather just forget everything that happened. One day, a bully at school said something about his mother, and Johnny just LOST it. Before he knew what was happening a teacher and the principal were pulling him off the kid. He was arrested for assault even though the boy was not hurt badly. Mr. Garner talked to the judge, Johnny got a few months probation, and the boy never bothered Johnny again. _

_For the next two years, Johnny's life was as good as he could have imagined it without his parents around. Mr. Garner and his wife were nice to him. He learned to allow the bullying and teasing to "roll off his back" as Mr. Garner taught him to do. Whenever he heard someone call him a "half-breed", "stupid injun", or other racial slur, Johnny would just turn his face up toward the heavens and remember that he was made in God's image and that meant he was special. Johnny remembered the story of the Frog and the Scorpion and told himself he would not allow his "nature" to be spoiled by the horrible events in his life-he would choose to be the kind, generous, loving boy that his mother had always said he was._

_When Johnny was sixteen, his Aunt Sandra came to get him. She had been estranged from the family since she went off to California and was not aware that her sister had died. She was devastated when she heard the news and tried desperately to find Johnny. She called Mr. Garner and let him know that she would like to take custody of her nephew, but did not want to do anything to further traumatize him. Johnny insisted that Mr. Garner keep his experiences in foster care from his aunt. "She has enough to feel guilty about with Mom dyin' and her not knowin'. I don't want her to think she is in any way responsible for the hell that I went through in those places." Mr. Garner was amazed at how insightful John was at only 16 years old. He promised John that he would not say anything to his aunt, but encouraged him to tell her one day and not to keep it a secret. _

"_Secrets can kill, John. Believe me, a secret kept can tear you, and those around you, apart." _

_Mr. Garner whispered those words to John again as the young man got on a Greyhound Bus with his Aunt to head out to California to live. Johnny had plans to live a life to make his parents proud. He wanted only to make them proud. And, that would be what he would spend the rest of his life doing._

Roy waited by the ER double doors. He felt like this day should be over; the shift should be over—they had gotten called out after lunch and now it was dark outside and Roy wasn't sure of the time and did not have the energy or desire to look at his watch. He saw the Ambulance make the wide right turn and back into the bay…he grabbed a gurney and called to the others waiting—Early, Brackett and Dixie, "They're here."

The doors of the ambulance swung open and Gil Robinson pushed the gurney toward Roy. The young girl was barely breathing and needed immediate attention. Roy caught a glimpse of Johnny, lying on the ambulance bench in his stokes. "_He looks too pale_." Roy thought. Dr. Brackett took the young girl and Dixie directed them to Exam Room 3. Roy jumped in the ambulance and looked down at his injured partner. "He's stable, Roy." Gil said, "Let's get him on a gurney and get going, huh?"

Roy cleared from his daze and pushed Johnny toward Gil who had grabbed the waiting gurney. Dr. Early was quick to begin checking Johnny's pupillary responses as they moved him to Exam Room 4. There was a flurry of activity. Gil filled Early in on Johnny's vital signs and his LONG ride to the hospital—it had taken them almost two hours to get down the canyon roads! Roy thought of the girl and what Brackett had told Johnny earlier "_She will drown in her own fluids or bleed to death in the next hour, Johnny. Isn't there a faster way to get her out of there_?" Johnny had found a faster way to get her out, but not a faster way to get her to the hospital. He knew Johnny well enough to know the young paramedic would blame himself if things did not go well with the girl. Roy thought he should call Joanne…she may hear about some of this on the news and wanted her to know he was okay, and he knew that she would pray for Johnny, too. _"The more people praying for him the better_." Roy believed.

Brackett tried to save the girl, but she went into respiratory arrest and then her heart stopped. They defibrillated several times, but there was no bringing her back. She was pronounced dead at 8:42pm (20:42 hours). Brackett tore off his gloves and determined that he was going to be sure that a certain paramedic would survive the night and crossed the hall to where he was being cared for.

As he entered, Dr. Brackett heard his friend, Dr. Early calling for all the usual tests and x-rays. He sidled up to Dr. Early and nudged him. Joe glanced back and knew that Kel's presence meant that the girl had died. Though that saddened him, he was more concerned for John Gage now. This young man had been through hell (he was remembering back to what he had seen on the x-rays and medical reports, not to mention he'd spent the day trapped in a car with two dying people). Joe intended that he would help him find some peace, somehow. Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early both looked up as that portable x-ray machine entered the room. They shooed everyone out, especially Roy, and stepped into the hall.

"Doc?" Was all that Roy could manage.

"Roy, Johnny is strong. His pupils are sluggish, but reactive and he hasn't lost too much blood. I think his chances are pretty good depending on what we find in the x-rays. Let's just think good thoughts, huh?" Joe Early told Roy, and the rest of the group as well.

The men of Station 51 stopped by the hospital once they were able to get back to the city. Cap stopped by the nurse's station to see Dixie. When she was not there, he went down to the coffee lounge. He found everyone he needed—Dixie, Roy, Dr.'s Brackett and Early. "How's John and the girl?" Hank asked the full room.

"Captain Stanley, I'm sorry, the girl didn't make it. But we are waiting on x-rays for Johnny and we will know more soon." Dr. Brackett offered.

Finding no relief in the answer, Cap stood stoically and stared at the floor. He had not lost a man yet…he would be damned if John Gage was the first. He said a silent prayer for the man and stepped out to update his other crew members on the news.

Johnny thought he could hear noises, but he wasn't sure. He knew that his head hurt and, well he hurt all over. He could smell antiseptic and felt a chill. "_I am in a hospital_." Johnny thought as his mind drifted back to his youth…

_Johnny enjoyed his Aunt. She was very much like his mother in her temperament and outlook on life. She told Johnny that she was sorry that she had not been there for him when his mother and father died. She felt terrible that she had let bigotry keep her from her sister's funeral and caring for her nephew. Knowing that his Aunt had enough guilt, he decided to continue the "secret" about what happened to him at the orphanage and in foster care. He did not want to add to her burden and, besides, it was in the past now._

_It was February in his junior year of high school when he finally decided his career path. He was running through the park one afternoon when he was flagged down by a woman who was crying and screaming hysterically. She was yelling something about her children having fallen in the water. When Johnny looked, he saw a small head bobbing up and down in the flowing river below. Johnny yelled for someone to call the police and he ran down the path to catch up with the tiny floater. When Johnny jumped in the cold water, he didn't even notice…he swam out to the boy and caught him just as he was about to go under again. Johnny pulled him to the side of the river and laid him down. The small child was crying and coughing when the mother arrived with the police. _

_Johnny suddenly realized two things…that he was very cold and that the women had said "children"—not just one child. He began to get up to go find more children when he collapsed. He woke to find two fire men leaning over him and telling him that the children were fine and that he would see them at the hospital. In the hospital, Johnny was greeted by someone from his past. The kind doctor who had treated him in Florida and Oklahoma was at his side once again. "Boy, you get around, dontcha, doc?" Johnny chided._

"_I guess I can say the same about you, son." The Doctor retorted. The doctor explained to Johnny that he had been on "mission trips" to the Reservations each year of his life as a doctor. He felt it was his "Christian Duty" to help others who were less-fortunate. He shook his head as he examined Johnny. He knew the boy was in trouble the last time he saw him, but the doctors at the clinic would not let him call the police. _

"_You've had it rough, huh, son?" the Doctor asked the young man._

"_No worse than some other kids I know, doc." Johnny answered and thought he liked the way the man called him "son". "Things are better now that I am with my Aunt. I am on the track team, the yearbook committee and I will graduate near the top of my class next spring." Johnny continued._

"_Well, that's pretty great then. You are going to be okay…just a little hypothermia. You saved that boy's life, you know. If he had been in the water even another minute or two…well, you saved his life."_

"_I just did what I felt I had to do, doc. I'm no hero. People should just help cuz' it's the right thing, like you going to help on the "rez". You just do it, right?" Johnny asked as he thought maybe one day he would be a doctor like this dark haired man before him._

"_I guess you are right, son. Well, I have sick people to see…you are going to be okay. You can go home tomorrow morning. And, Son, one more thing…" the doctor continued._

_Johnny raised his eyes to meet the older man's gaze…"I don't want to see you as a patient again. Okay?"_

"_That's a deal, doc." Johnny laughed and they shook hands as the doctor went on his way._

_Later that evening, one of the firemen who he met earlier that day came to visit him at the hospital and told him that he was very brave to have jumped in the cold river to save the drowning boy. Johnny asked the man if that was any different than running into a burning building to rescue someone. The man just laughed and said he did not think it was so different. Johnny admired the courage in the man before him, and knew that one day he would be a fireman—no matter how dangerous the job…Johnny knew that was what he was called to do._

_Johnny felt that being a fireman, saving other people's lives, and helping kids like him would be a marvelous way to honor his parents' memories and make them proud._

_TBC_


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 11

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Roy sat waiting for news on Johnny. He remembered that it was just a couple days ago that he and Johnny had breakfast at his home. Just a few days ago they stopped in the gas station and those racial slurs were hurled at his friend. Roy was wondering if people would ever just accept each other for who they were when he heard loud voices and arguing. Roy glanced up to see Dr. Brackett in the midst of two men who were about to tear into each other. Roy charged toward the scene…

"Mr. Moore, Mr. Greer, calm down, calm down. Carol, call security." Dr. Brackett yelled over and over. He glanced to up to see Roy approach and nodded his thanks to the paramedic.

Roy stepped in to pull one man off to the side while Dr. Brackett controlled the other man. When they were a bit more calm, Brackett looked to Roy, "Roy, this is Mr. Moore, Beth's father. And, this is Mr. Greer, Kenny's father." Roy was immediately aware of the difficult situation Brackett had before him, and he felt sorry for the doctor.

"Mr. Moore, please come into my office. Roy, can you take Mr. Greer to the break room and get him a cup of coffee?" Brackett nodded to Roy again as he led Mr. Moore into his office. Roy understood his assignment and walked the grieving man to the break room.

As they sat in the plastic chairs, Roy recognized the dark features of the man across from him. He looked like Johnny in many ways. Roy heard what Mr. Moore had yelled as he was coming to help doctor Brackett, "None of this would have happened if you had kept that little half-breed son of yours away from my daughter!" Roy bent his head in shame for the entire human race as he sat in the coffee room with Mr. Green.

"My son is dead." The man said. "What am I supposed to do now?" he lamented. Roy did not have an answer. The men sat in awkward silence.

"You were with my son when he died? They said a paramedic was with him." The man was reaching for some hope, some morsel of information, something to make him feel better.

"No," Roy answered, "It wasn't me. It was my partner, John Gage. He was injured, too, and they are treating him now."

"I'm sorry he was hurt. Is it bad?"

"We don't know yet. He…he…he's still being check out." Roy stumbled over his words; his worry showing.

The men continued their silence.

In Dr. Brackett's office things were not going so well. Mr. Moore was inconsolable. He was demanding to see his daughter; demanding the police be called and charges filed against the Green boy for "murder." "_How did he murder your daughter_?" Kel thought, "_It was just an accident_." But, Kel understood the grief of parents. He had seen it much too often for his taste. It took about an hour to get the grieving father calmed down. Dixie had been with the mother and the woman joined the men in Kel's office.

"Ben," Mrs. Moore called to her husband, "Ben, our baby is dead." She collapsed into his arms. They held each other and sobbed as the two health professionals left the office. They made their way to the break room to talk with Mr. Green and Roy. When they walked in, Mr. Green was drinking his coffee and Roy was sitting across from him doing the same. No hysterics, no anger, no crying…only a quiet grieving for a lost child and an injured partner.

"Roy, why don't you go with Dix and check on Johnny." Brackett ordered. "I will stay here and talk with Mr. Green."

"Uh, sure, doc. Mr. Green, I am sorry about your son." Roy said as he reached out to shake the man's hand.

Mr. Green accepted the hand as if it were a life preserver being tossed to a drowning man. He held on tight for a few moments and as he let go, he offered, "And, I hope everything is okay with your partner, Roy."

Kenny's injuries and the need to save Beth were explained to Mr. Green over the next few minutes. His wife had died a few years before from cancer, and now he would be alone. Dr. Brackett heard Mr. Green begin to hum a vaguely familiar tune as he rocked back and forth mourning the loss of his son.

The next few hours were a whirlwind. The x-rays of Johnny's skull showed there was a depressed fracture and blood was building up at the base of his skull. His lack of response to pain and auditory stimuli could be explained by the bleeding in the brain. But, Dr. Early worried that Johnny could die during the procedure to alleviate the pressure. After meeting with two other neurosurgeons, Dr. Early decided that they would operate on Johnny to relieve the pressure on his brain.

While he was prepped for surgery, Johnny continued to drift back in time:

_When Johnny graduated high school, he was the fifth in his class of over one hundred kids. He wasn't the only one of American Indian decent as he had met another boy named Drew Burke. Drew was a great guy and he was set on going to the police academy. They teased each other over their career choices, but both knew they would be lifelong friends. It was as if each of them had found a brother he didn't know he had. When he was with Drew, Johnny felt almost whole again._

_Johnny was 17 ½ he applied for the South Bay Fire Academy, but was warned against any past criminal charges when he received his application. Johnny appealed to Mr. Garner to help him. Johnny did not want his dream to be shattered by some stupid thing he did years ago. Mr. Garner and Johnny petitioned the court and his assault record was expunged. Johnny was accepted into the academy and began classes just after graduation. Johnny again graduated at the top of his class from the academy. _

_His time at Station 10 as a "boot" was glorious. Johnny excelled in his skills but never thought he was better than anyone else. Many of the guys treated Johnny as a younger brother, because he was after-all, only 18 years old. He was the youngest recruit the department had ever accepted at 17 years old. He turned 18 just before he graduated the academy and was assigned his station. He did experience some bigotry and there were a few "hazing" incidents that got a bit out of hand…but most of the time Johnny felt he was right where he should be._

_Finally Johnny fit…he did not feel like an outsider with these men. He felt a kinship, a brotherhood; but, he kept everyone at arms length…just sharing bits and pieces of his life before the academy. Drew knew some of his life story, his Aunt knew even more…but, only Johnny knew the dark, intimate details of his past that were better left buried._

Johnny faired pretty well through the procedure to reduce the swelling in his brain. Only a bit of his hair at the base of his skull had to be shaved away. Roy looked at his partner on the SICU bed in front of him. He looked so small and innocent…almost like one of his own children. Roy thought aloud, "You may not be my kid, Junior, but you are a part of my family. Hold on!" Roy continued to talk with Johnny in subdued tones while holding onto his hand.

Johnny heard a familiar voice in the distance, but for some reason he could not make out the words. He wanted badly to open his eyes but they were just too heavy. Johnny felt like he should squeeze the hand holding his, but was unable to make his hand respond. He fell into a very deep and comforting darkness…

Dr. Brackett had checked on Johnny when he first reported that morning. Seeing that he was stable, but still not responding to verbal or pain stimuli, he shook his head with wonder. "_Why aren't you waking up, hose jockey_?" Brackett pondered as he made his way to his office. He found a package on his desk that had been overnighted to him from Oklahoma. He realized immediately what it was—it was Johnny's medical records he had requested. So much had happened in that short time since his last meeting with Johnny. And, now the young man's life was hanging in the balance.

Dr. Brackett thought about the two families who had lost their children. He knew how hard Johnny had worked to save BOTH of them. Dr. Brackett thought back to a lesson he learned from his father, who was also a doctor; "No matter how hard you try, Kelly, there will still be those you cannot save. You need to remember, we are only doctors. We are not God." That brought the young, cocky resident down a few pegs, but he knew that his father was right. His dad had retired a few years ago and was now living in Seattle. They talked often and visited each other on holidays. Kel Brackett was his father's son…

Opening the package, Dr. Brackett found THREE files…all rather thick. One was from a clinic in Florida which included medical records from his hospitalization after he was born; another was from a clinic in Oklahoma; and, the last one was from the hospital in Wewoka, Oklahoma. He determined that the best place to start was the beginning…so he started with the Florida file and Johnny's first hospital visit when he was just hours old.

Roy continued to talk to Johnny and tell him about who was covering their shifts, who was cooking at the station that day, how the kids were doing, how JoAnne was doing…anything he could think to talk about, Roy talked about. In fact, Roy talked so much that he began to get hoarse. The nurses began bringing Roy hot coffee and tea when they would come do their checks on Johnny. They began to think they were going to have TWO patients to care for when Dr. Early came in the room. "Roy, you need to get home and get some rest!" Dr. Early ordered.

"But, doc, someone needs to be with him when he wakes up. I don't want him to be alone." Roy pleaded.

Dr. Early was touched by the friendship the two had developed in the year they had known each other. "Roy, the nurses and I will be here…he will be taken care of."

Roy didn't budge. Dr. Early was about to forcefully remove Roy from the room when Dr. Brackett entered. "Joe, I need to see you right away." The younger doctor ordered.

Both Roy and Dr. Early were surprised at the demanding tone, and Dr. Early acquiesced, forgetting he was about to remove Roy from the room.

"What's up, Kel?" Joe asked as he followed Kel from the room.

"I want to discuss Johnny's records with you. And, there is a call we need to make, too. Let's go to my office." Kel walked on as Joe followed.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 12

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Joe could not believe the revelations that the files contained about their young paramedic. Years of substandard medical care, disinterest from doctors at the clinics and hospitals, and a lack of simple compassion marred this man's youth. Joe was astounded when Kel told him that the boy had been seen by a "Dr. Brackett" on several occasions in Florida and Oklahoma.

"Was that your father, Kel?" Joe asked in disbelief.

"Yes, it was. I couldn't believe it either. My dad traveled to the Seminole Reservations in Florida and even took me to the one in Oklahoma, but I never would have believed that he treated John Gage!" the confused man spat out the words like he was drowning. "I was sitting with Mr. Green last night and he started humming something that sounded familiar to me. Now I remember it was a chant I heard when I was on the 'rez' with my dad. He must be a Seminole Indian, like Johnny." Kel Brackett was grasping to link anything and everything now that he realized his own FATHER had treated John Gage as a child—an abused child at that.

"We need to call my dad and get more information before we talk to Johnny. What do you think?" Kel looked to Joe for affirmation.

"Yeah, we have to. That release Johnny signed allows your dad to give us information on what is in those files. Let's call him." Joe agreed.

Two hours later, Dr.'s Joe Early and Kelly Brackett knew everything there was to know about John Roderick Gage's medical and psychological history. And, they understood the man's reluctance to share it himself. "No one should have to endure all that. How did he make it through all that, Kel?" Joe wondered aloud to his friend.

"Johnny is strong-willed, Joe. We both know that. He fought to be a fireman and a rescue man. He fought for the paramedic bill, he fought me, and he will fight whatever is keeping him from waking up, too. If anything good has come from his past, it is that he is a strong and compassionate young man. Compassionate, maybe, to a fault. He gets to emotionally involved. Like with this car accident." Kel was rambling.

"Kel, think about it…one of those kids was, if you are right, a Seminole Indian, just like Johnny. And, he was going to marry someone outside his race, right?" The doctors had heard the stories from the others who were at the scene and the story began to unfold about the star-crossed lovers who only wanted to be together. "Kel, this could have brought back a lot of bad memories for Johnny—the wreck that killed his parents, the bigotry he faced, the death and destruction he has endured. Hell, if I was him, I wouldn't want to wake up either!"

"Joe, what do we do? John's been broken physically, mentally and emotionally. Do you really think he is up to being a firefighter and a paramedic? I don't feel right letting him do this job, knowing that one day it could lead to a breakdown." Kel was sticking to what felt safe—work-related issues, and not Johnny's condition.

"Kel, if you take him away from this job, he will break anyway. I know a lot of fireman. You do, too. The guys I know go to work, do their job and go back home to be husbands, fathers, brothers, and neighbors. Kel, being a firefighter/paramedic is not just what John Gage DOES, it what he IS. Johnny doesn't separate his job from his being. He saves lives because that was what he was made to do. If we don't let him do it…then, he has nothing to live for. Can't you see that?"

Kel knew that Joe was right. He also knew that John Gage was one of the best, if not THE best firefighter/paramedic he had the pleasure of knowing. Johnny did everything to perfection, just like Kel did. And, he took it personally when things didn't go right, just like Kel did. Maybe that was why he and Gage did not get along so well early on—they were too much like each other to actually LIKE each other! "You're right, Joe. I guess we can just watch him and see if there are any signs of physical or mental stress like we will do for the others."

So, John Gage would remain a FF/PM and be allowed to continue the work he was called to do. Both doctors felt a sense of relief at the decision and patted each other's shoulders as they went to see the man they had spent the last few hours discussing.

As they left his office, Dr. Brackett noticed that Mr. Green had returned to the hospital. He was standing in the waiting area. Kel motioned to Joe to slow down as he approached the man. "Mr. Green, is there anything I can do to help you?" Kel asked.

"Hm? Oh, no Dr. Brackett. Please call me Bill. I am just here to see the fireman who was with my son when he died. I just wanted to know if he talked to Kenny. If Kenny had said anything before he…before he…died."

Kel hated grieving parents. It was probably one reason why had had yet to marry and have children himself. He just could not bear to say good-bye to a child or spouse, like he had seen many have to do. Dixie had been injured when out on a call with Roy and Johnny early on in the paramedic program. He was beside himself with worry until he knew she was okay and that was bad enough.

"Mr. Green, uh, Bill. We are going to see John Gage now. He has yet to regain consciousness, but when he is better, we will ask him if he wants to talk with you. Is that okay?" Kel knew the offer was of little comfort to the man, but it was all he had to give.

"Yeah, I guess. I hope he is gonna be okay. There has been so much tragedy already…my son, his fiancée…too much death, doctor. Too much senseless death." The man shook his head as he looked to the ground.

Kel saw an opening, "Uh, Bill, last night, I heard you humming something…can you tell me what it was?"

"Oh, just an old chant I learned on the 'rez'. I guess I didn't even realize what I was doing. I used to hum the tune to Kenny as a baby and it just brought us so much peace. I just needed to feel him near me last night, that's all." The man's eyes began to fill with tears.

"Bill, you might not believe this, but the man who was with your son is also part Seminole Indian. He was raised on a Reservation in Oklahoma. Do you think you could come with us and hum that chant? Maybe, just maybe, it will do the same for him that it did for you and your son." Kel nearly begged the man.

Joe looked on in disbelief. He thought his colleague had lost his mind. But, he trusted that Kel knew what he was doing.

"I guess so, Dr. Brackett. Are you sure he is Seminole. There aren't many of us around these parts and I know just about all of them."

"Well, John Gage probably didn't make his background known much, if you know what I mean." Kel answered.

Mr. Green DID know what he meant. The racial bigotry against American Indians was as bad as it was against the African Americans. And, was one reason many of the Seminoles stayed on the Reservations in Florida or the Trust Lands in Oklahoma. But, with more and more race-mixing, Indians marrying outside their race, they were dispersing more due to the bigotry among their own people.

"Yes, Dr. Brackett. I would like to try that. If I can help the man who tried to save my son and a brother Seminole, then I would consider it an honor."

The three men made their way to Johnny's room in the SICU. They were not prepared for what they would find there.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 13

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Roy had almost fallen asleep when he felt some movement and heard something. He quickly looked up to see Johnny's eyes wide open, as if he were frightened. Roy heard him say something and then Johnny began to shake violently. "He's having a seizure!" Roy yelled as he pressed the call button to summon help.

Dr.'s Brackett and Early, along with Mr. Green, walked in right after Roy pressed the call button. Roy turned to the door hoping for some help and relief for his friend. "He's seizing, doc. I don't know what happened. He woke up and was saying something I didn't understand and then he just started seizing." Roy relayed to the doctors, and Mr. Green since he was also there.

Dr. Brackett called to the nurse, "Get me 10mg Diazapam, stat!" The nurse entered the room in seconds and Dr. Brackett administered the medication. Johnny's body almost immediately stopped seizing and he began to relax, as did his visitors. "What happened again, Roy?" Dr. Brackett inquired.

"I was sitting here talking to him. I guess I nodded off because the next thing I realize is that Johnny is moving and I heard him say something. I looked into his eyes and he started seizing." Roy explained again.

"What did he say?" Mr. Green interjected. All three men looked at him as if they were surprised he was there. They actually were surprised he was there, but they were more surprised by the question he asked.

"What does it matter?" Roy shot back.

"What did he say?" Mr. Green asked again.

"I think I heard him say your son's name, Kenny. Then he said something I couldn't make out…he said something…I don't know…then he said something like 'he cares.'" Roy tried to recall.

Mr. Green's face went ashen, "Did he say, '**Enka, ce'hecares!**'" putting all the emphasis where it belonged.

"Yes, that is what he said. What does it mean? What does it mean?" Roy nearly shouted.

Mr. Green's walked over near the bed of the man who was now solemnly still and looked at the three men. He put his hand on Roy's shoulder and explained, "It is our language, the language of the Seminole. We have no words to say 'good-bye'. We use this phrase '**Enka, ce'hecares!**" which means, 'Okay, I will see you again!' It is a declaration, not a whimpy statement. I think your friend was saying good-bye to someone-maybe, my son."

"Maybe he was reliving the rescue." Brackett said.

"Would your son have known this language, Mr. Green?" it was Dr. Early this time.

"Oh, yes. I taught Kenny as much of our Indian culture as I could. It was important to me that he know both his mother's and my heritages. The funny thing is that both his mother and I were both Christians. Many Seminole's are Christian. We were a tribe of acceptance and understanding. Meekness, love and humility are the three most important qualities of character in our culture. The New Testament and teachings of Jesus Christ had such a commonality with our beliefs that many Seminoles converted to Christianity. But, we keep our traditions and our Indian ways as reminders of our rich history."

Johnny's three friends looked at each other and then down at their fallen friend…meekness, love and humility were about the EXACT words anyone who knew John Gage would use to describe him. If it were not apparent that he was of Seminole decent before, then it would be very clear once this was known. Mr. Green, without prompting from the other men, began humming the old Seminole chant that he remembered. The men stood in silence, except for the humming, watching over their friend and brother.

With Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early on his right side and Roy and Mr. Green to his left, Johnny lay in quiet slumber; but he heard something. A familiar, almost haunting melody. He recognized it from his youth. His mother had used the chants of his father's people as his lullaby. Johnny felt that he was finally able to be free from the darkness that had surrounded him for what seemed like years…he listened harder to find the melody…he kept listening and then…he opened his eyes.

They all saw his eyes open. They looked down at him. Roy was the first to talk, "Hey, Junior. Are you back with us?"

Johnny fluttered his eyes, trying to get focus. As he did so, he saw Roy and smiled a weak smile and tried to nod his head. He turned his head to the side and noticed Dr. Brackett and nodded slightly to him as well. When he tried to speak, he choked back the words. Both Roy and Dr. Brackett reached for the water next to the bed. Roy was quicker.

"Here, Johnny, try to take a sip of water." Roy offered the straw. Johnny took a few sips and noticed two other faces at his bedside.

"Who are you?" was his first question once his voice returned, and it was aimed at Mr. Green. "You look familiar."

Searching Dr. Brackett's eyes for permission, and receiving a nod of approval, Mr. Green told Johnny who he was.

Johnny's heart monitor began to beep as his pulse rate increased. Roy gently squeezed Johnny's hand he had been holding. He hoped to provide him some comfort and peace.

"Kenny told me to tell you something." Johnny choked out. Roy again offered the straw and Johnny sipped more water.

"I think I know what it was, Mr. Gage." Mr. Green said, almost crying now. Johnny looked at Roy and then back to Mr. Green in confusion.

Roy helped by saying, "You just had a seizure. Before you started seizing you said something that I couldn't understand. When I told Mr. Green what it was, he guessed that you said…you said…" Roy turned to Mr. Green for help.

"**Enka, ce'hecares!"** both Mr. Green and Johnny said it at the same time—one voice sounding very tired and the other on the verge of weeping.

"What about Beth, did Beth make it?" Johnny asked, but already knew the answer deep inside.

Mr. Green started to answer him...

Dr. Brackett put a stop to it, "Not right now, Johnny. You need to rest. In a few hours, if you are still stable and up to it, then Mr. Green can return. Right now, we all need to leave and let you continue to rest." Roy flashed a look of a kicked puppy. "Not you, Roy. Stay. Dr. Early and I will return in a few minutes. Mr. Green, let us walk you out." The three men left the room and Johnny and Roy shared a companionable silence.

"Roy?" Johnny nearly whispered.

"Yeah, Junior. What is it?"

"I'm not mad, you know?"

"Mad about what?"

"You know…mad that you left the scene and didn't come back." With that Johnny closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.

Roy's tears fell and he did not try to stop them. His partner and friend had sought to give HIM comfort while lying in a hospital bed! This man before him would never cease to amaze him. Roy knew, that no matter what they faced in their futures as firefighter's…that this man, John Roderick Gage…would be his friend and brother forever.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 14

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Though the news of Beth's death was not a surprise to Johnny, he did take it pretty hard. He refused to see any visitors the day after he awoke. Over the following days Johnny received quite a few visitors. Drew Burke, his friend from high school, came by to say hello and brought his lovely wife, Pam. Johnny had been the best man at Drew's wedding and was happy for his friend when they announced that they were having a baby in a few months. They asked Johnny to be the baby's "godfather" and he was overjoyed. He was finally beginning to realize what family was.

Johnny was fidgeting in his bed a couple days after he had woken up, when Dixie came in the room. "Hi, Dix." Johnny grinned that famous 'Gage-grin'. It melted the heart of many women, but only made Dixie's smile bigger.

"Hey, Tiger. How are you feeling today? And, you better tell me the truth, or I will make Dr. Brackett put that Foley catheter back in." She teased. She had known this many for over a year and she came to realize that he was less-than-honest when it came to his own well-being.

Johnny slightly blushed. His terse, "I'm ok…" met a frown on Dixie's face. "Okay truth, I don't feel too good. I am kinda weak and tired. And, my head is killing me." Johnny relented.

Dixie's face furrowed. Johnny had been improving and she thought that she would be losing her favorite patient in a day or so. She put the back of her hand on his forehead as she reached for a thermometer. "A little warm, Johnny. Let's take your temp." She put the thermometer in his mouth and began taking his pulse and blood pressure for good measure.

"Mm..phn..y….n" Johnny tried to talk around the thermometer.

"Yeah, I know you're fine." She answered.

Johnny looked surprised…"I've been a nurse longer than I want to tell you…you don't think I can translate 'thermometer speak'?'" she teased again.

Johnny liked how simple things were with Dixie. He enjoyed her company and thought of her as an older sister. He had been terrified that day she was injured on one of their first rescues…he had flashed back to seeing his mother lying in her own blood when he saw Dixie lying on the ground after that car went over the embankment. He had disobeyed Dr. Brackett's orders that day—and he would do it a hundred times over if it meant that Dixie was okay.

"Hmmm…" Dixie said as she read his temperature.

"What is it?" Johnny asked, with a little quake in his voice.

"103.2. What have you been doing today, Johnny?" She asked, concerned that he had overdone it.

"Oh, Dix. You didn't hear. I ran a 440 and did some hurdles, and that was all before lunch." He teased her this time.

Dixie frowned again and he was hurt that he was the cause. That told him this was not time for teasing. "I'm gonna get Kel. I will be right back, Tiger. Don't you worry." She didn't know if she was trying to calm him or herself.

Johnny stared out the window waiting for his doctor to return. He was surprised at what came through the door.

"Johnny, I don't know if you recognize this man or not," Dr. Brackett began, "But, this is my father, Dr. Calvin Brackett."

Johnny couldn't believe it. It was the doctor who had treated him at the clinics when he was a child. and even after he had come to California to live with his Aunt. "Well, hey, doc. Yeah, I remember you." Johnny said as he offered his hand. When the older doctor took his hand and looked into his eyes, Johnny felt almost naked; as if the older man could see right through his very soul.

"Good to see you again, son." Calvin said. He had been calling this boy, son, for years now and it seemed appropriate to continue. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, doc. Well, not right now I'm not, but I have a good life." Johnny corrected.

"I hear you have a fever, John. Do you have pain anywhere besides your head?" Kelly Brackett inquired.

"No, doc. Just my head…well, now that you mention it, my back does hurt a bit. Kinda like a burning pain…" Johnny confessed.

As Kel had Johnny sit up, Calvin Brackett moved around to the other side of the bed to examine Johnny's complaint as well. "That's it. You need to get that cleaned up, give him a shot of antibiotics, and then this boy will be fine." Calvin Brackett told his son.

"Yes, Dad." Kel laughed out. "Johnny, one of the larger cuts on your back appears to be infected. We need to get it cleaned up and put you on a good dose of antibiotics. I am certain the fever will go away soon."

Johnny let out a sigh and looked again at the man that he knew from his youth. Not knowing where it came from, he blurted out, "That last time you saw me in Oklahoma…did you know…did you know that I was being kicked around?"

The older doctor swallowed hard and Kel Brackett almost wanted to hit Johnny for putting his father on the spot. But, Kel had been thinking the same thing himself, so he stood to await the answer.

Johnny and Kel did not have to wait long. The older doctor sat on the chair next to Johnny's bed and poured out his heart…"I knew you were being beaten, yes. Those were different times, Son. I reported it to my supervising physician at the clinic. I knew that nothing was going to be done about it…so, I reported it to the police chief, too. Well, before I knew it, the next day I was asked to leave the Trust Lands and I was told that I would not be welcomed back for another mission trip." The man hung his head and as he looked back up, tears welled in his eyes as he continued…

"Son, I remembered you from the first time I saw you in Florida. You had such an energy about you, and your parents were dear sweet people. I remembered you in my prayers every night, because I knew that in Florida and, then later, in Oklahoma, that you were not getting the proper medical care. I fought to change things on the Reservations I visited…in Florida, Oklahoma, Montana, and Nevada. I felt I was making and difference. But, with you, Son…with you, I just didn't know if I made a difference." The older man allowed his tears to flow as Johnny and Kel Brackett swept theirs away with the backs of their hands.

Johnny put his hand out to the man who took it. As he shook the man's hand, Johnny said, "You made a difference, doc. I trusted you…when there was no one else I could trust…I trusted you. I knew you would take care of me and you did. And, now, by some strange miracle, your son is taking care of me, too. Whod'a thought it, huh?" and all three men shared a laugh.

There was one more person who Johnny had not yet seen since his recovery was nearly complete. Mr. Green had not returned to the hospital yet to visit with Johnny. Johnny was not sure if he was relieved or agitated that he had not returned. When he heard the door open, he thought it might be Mr. Green. But, as Johnny looked up at his visitor, he was shocked and surprised at who was looking at him.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 15

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

"Tim?" Johnny cried out. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, John, it's me." Tim Garner, Johnny's former track coach and guardian entered the room hesitantly. "I heard about what happened on the news and I thought I would come see how you were doing."

Johnny was in shock. "You heard this on the news in Oklahoma?"

"No, Johnny. We were in California for the funeral and we decided to stay with family for a while." Was the answer.

Johnny remembered. Several months ago, Johnny's Aunt Sandra had died. He had a small funeral for her and had asked Tim and his family to come. They were the only people Johnny knew to call when she died. He thought of telling Roy, Cap, and the guys…but, he did not feel like he could. So, Tim and his family comforted Johnny as the last of his family left him alone.

Shaking his head at the memory, Johnny asked Tim to take a seat. Tim sat down and the two men started talking about what had happened and how Johnny was hurt during the rescue. Tim told Johnny he was proud of him and Johnny blushed. Johnny had a hard time taking compliments, because they were so few and far between. Tim had been his biggest fan as he ran track and worked on the high school paper and yearbook committee. Tim always knew how to make Johnny feel better. Well, almost always. "They both died, Tim." Johnny said in a low voice.

"I am sure you did everything you could have done, John" Tim consoled.

"Yeah, I know…and sometimes it's not enough. How am I supposed to be okay with that, Tim?" Johnny pleaded the man for help in understanding.

"John, I don't know why this happened any more than you do…but, I do know that you have survived AND thrived after much worse in your life. You have faced many challenges and you are a better man for each of them. John, have faith that what happened was for a reason…one that you may never know, but everything that happens is part of a bigger plan." Tim was calling on his years of Sunday school learning.

Johnny knew the man was right, but it still hurt to know that he made a decision that ended one life to help save another…and, that life was lost, too. It seemed that no matter how Johnny played it out in his head, he was going to lose both of his patients that night. And, it all seemed like a very cruel joke being played. And, he was not laughing.

Tim and Johnny visited a while longer and then Tim left. He invited Johnny to visit if he ever got back out to Oklahoma. "You know there is always a home for you there, John. As long as I am around, you always have a home." Tim said as he hugged the man he knew as a frightened and hurting boy. Tim now saw a gentle, caring, brave and loving man—a man he was proud to know.

Tim's visit made Johnny very tired. It was not long before his eyes closed and he was asleep again.

Kel and Cal Brackett had lunch and the younger doctor explained the last few days to his father. The older doctor agreed with his son's decision to allow John Gage to continue in his career. He thought it would be a shame for the boy to have endured all those trials and tribulations only to have his life's dream snatched away because of them. No, John Gage had survived hell so that he could save others from similar fates. Kel admired how his father found such peace in his faith in God. Kel had tried, but so many times he came up short in the faith department. But, getting to know John Gage was certainly helping him gain more faith-in people and in God.

The elder Dr. Brackett had a flight out later that night. Father and son said their good-byes and Kel went up to check on his patient before going home to get some much-needed rest. Kel stopped by the Nurse's Station in the ER to see if Dixie would go out to dinner with him, but she had already gone. He slumped into the elevator to go up to Johnny's room.

Dixie was already there when Kel arrived. "Hey, I thought you had gone home." Kel said as he entered the room.

Dixie nodded her head toward Johnny, "He's been through a lot in the past few days. I just wanted to be sure he was doing alright before I went home."

"Yeah, me too. Seems that young Mr. Gage here has grown on me. Did you know I even called him 'son', Dix?" He shared openly with her. He loved this woman and the way she loved him. "How 'bout some dinner, Dix?"

"Are you asking me out on a date Dr. Brackett?" Dixie teased.

"Why, yes I am Ms. McCall. Would you join me for dinner, please?" He teased in return.

They both tucked Johnny in for the night and walked out of the room arm in arm for a late dinner and who knows what else…

It was after visiting hours, but Mr. Green had waited long enough to visit John Gage. He snuck up to John's room and entered quietly. He noticed the young man sleeping and felt bad that he had come. But, his desire to know what the last few moments of his boy's life were like overwhelmed him. He had stayed away, because he knew how sick Johnny had been and he had not wanted to contribute to any further injury or illness. But, he was also a grieving father and needed to see Johnny and hear the story. The door closed behind him before he could catch it and the sound woke the sleeping man.

"I'm sorry to wake you Mr. Gage." Mr. Green apologized.

"No, it's okay. Come in Mr. Green…I expected you would come…I just didn't know when."

"I…I…I buried my son yesterday, Mr. Gage."

"I am so sorry, Mr. Green…"

"Please, call me Bill"

"And, call me Johnny. I am sorry about your son, Bill."

Johnny proceeded to tell Bill Green of his son's final hours and his final thoughts, feelings and words. The father was proud that his son willingly gave his life for the woman he loved. His mother would have been devastated at the loss of her son, just as Bill was, but she would have been proud, too. He relished in the thought that his son and wife were together again in Heaven and that one day, he would join them there. A slight smile came to his face.

"What are you thinking about, Bill" Johnny asked.

"Huh? Oh, I guess I was thinkin' about Heaven, Johnny. I was just thinking that Kenny is with his mom now and that they are probably very happy to be together again."

"When I was little, I used to believe in Heaven and that my parents were there." Johnny huffed out.

"You don't believe that anymore?"

"No. Well, maybe. I just don't know anymore. After some of the crap I have been through, it is just real hard for me to believe in a loving God, that's all."

"But, you must have some faith, some trust, some belief…to do the job you do." Bill queried Johnny. "Can I ask you a question?"

Johnny stiffened slightly. With some of the secrets he held, that was always a loaded question for him. "Yeah, I guess so."

"What made you climb in that back of that car with my son and Beth?"

Johnny took in a deep breath and thought a moment. "It's what I do. I am a fireman/paramedic. I help people."

"There's more to it than that, isn't there John? Why you do what you do is deeper than just a job you perform…I get the feeling that you are doing this job to try to get something back that was taken from you." Bill suggested.

"Maybe you are right. But, what I have lost, I can never get back." Johnny confessed.

"I wouldn't be so sure. The other night, when you heard me humming that old Seminole chant, you looked like you had found something…some peace, maybe? Maybe I am wrong."

"No, you're not wrong…I guess I did find something." Johnny thought over the past few days and he realized what he had found. "I found that I do have a family, I have brothers, and I have people I can trust. That is a pretty huge revelation for me, Bill. I didn't have the best of childhoods…after my parents died, I was alone and it was hard. But, I found some people along the way who cared…a doctor, a coach, an Aunt, a friend, and a partner and crew that have my back. I guess I found myself after I thought I had lost everything." Both men were quiet for a while.

"Kenny and Beth allowed me to see that true love can overcome all odds…and love is worth the risks that come with it. I have found it hard to trust people…I tend to keep people at a distance. I keep my heart hidden and don't share much of myself with others. When it comes to sharing my life story, well…I just don't, you know. Growing up on the 'rez' was hard, harder after Dad and Mom died. I wanted it all to go away, and I kept it a secret. But, someone once told me that "secrets will kill me" and I guess they almost did."

"I am glad you were able to learn something from my son, John. He was a remarkable young man…I am sure he and you would have gotten along great if things had turned out differently. Would you help me honor my son's memory, John?"

"What did you have in mind, Bill?" Johnny wondered aloud.

"I would like to set up a scholarship fund in his name. I wanted to take the money from his college fund to help other kids have a chance to live their dreams. Kenny loved to run track, so I thought I would set up a scholarship fund to help track athletes pay for college."

Johnny smiled, as he remembered his track days. Running seemed to be the only way his soul could truly be free in those hard days. "That sounds like a great idea, Bill. Just let me know how I can help and I will be there."

TBC

NOTE: almost done, promise…it is taking on a life of its own!


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Without Reservation – Pt. 16 (Alternate Ending)

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I write for pure enjoyment and to stretch my imagination…I do not make any profit from these characters or stories.

Summary: A new policy had Gage worried and Brackett concerned for this young Paramedic. What happens will change their relationship, and other friendships Johnny has forged, forever.

Johnny was in the hospital for eight days. As he left, he told all the hospital staff that this would be the first and last time he would be spending any time as a patient of Rampart General Hospital. Though they all hoped that was the case, they believed they would be seeing John Gage again in the future. He cared too much to just let someone burn to death, or die in a car wreck, and he would certainly risk life and limb to keep them from harm.

And, Johnny knew that his work would be scrutinized now that Dr. Brackett knew all his secrets. But, he was glad that the good doctor kept his word and did not tell Roy or even his Captain the sordid details of his past. Johnny had told Dr. Brackett that he would tell them, eventually. And, he believed he would, in his own time and his own way. He was not going to let his secrets destroy the relationships he was building with his new family…he would not want that to ever happen.

Johnny reported to work after being gone for a couple weeks. The physical wounds had healed and the emotional scars were beginning to heal as well. He felt like he was going home again as he pulled into the parking lot. He parked his Rover in "his" spot behind Station 51 and sat staring at the building. He was an hour early for his shift. As if on cue, Roy pulled up and parked beside him and got out of his little sports car. Johnny waved a hello and hopped out of the vehicle. The two men shared a quick embrace as Roy asked, "So, how are you feeling, Junior?"

"I'm doin' alright. Thanks for meeting me, Roy." Johnny said as he looked toward the ground.

"What's up? Why did I agree to get out warm bed and meet you here at this time of morning if you are alright?" Roy chided.

"I have a couple things Roy…First, I wanted to tell you my Aunt died." Johnny began.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Johnny. When's the funeral?"

"Um, well, she died a few months ago, Roy. I didn't tell you or the guys, cuz', well, I just didn't feel like I could at the time, that's all." Johnny stumbled out.

"I understand, Johnny. We were all still getting to know each other…it's okay, really. Were you and your Aunt close?" Roy tried to pull more from Johnny.

"Well…we can talk about that. But, first, there is something I need to ask you. Roy, I trust you. You are my partner, a great friend, and brother…I need someone to be my 'next-of-kin' on my Department records. I was wondering, since I don't have any blood relatives left…would you consider allowing me to use you as my emergency contact?" Johnny was almost whispering as the words poured out.

"Johnny, I am honored you would ask me. Seeing how I will probably BE THERE when and if you every have an emergency, I guess it is pretty natural you choose me, huh." Roy said in a teasing way.

Johnny smiled, "Yeah, I guess it would be. So, it's okay if I add you as my emergency contact and 'next-of-kin'?" Johnny confirmed.

"Sure, partner. Sign me up. Hope I never get any calls about you, but I am willing to address any issues that may come up on your behalf." Roy assented.

"Thanks. There really is no one else…at least locally. I have a good friend in Oklahoma and he and his wife really helped me a lot after my parent's died. I call them my aunt and uncle, but they are not related to me. All of the people I call family today are not related by blood, but they are certainly in my heart forever." Johnny allowed his emotions to show.

Roy reached out and patted him on the shoulder. "I feel the same about you Junior…you're my best friend, Johnny. And, you are like a brother to me, too. You said there were a couple things…?" Roy was prompting Johnny.

"Well, Roy, I thought we could talk, over breakfast. I thought we could talk about what happened that morning at the gas station, when we went to your house for breakfast."

Roy was not sure Johnny remembered that incident and, from what had happened over the last few weeks, he was pretty sure he would not want to talk about it. "Sure, Johnny. We eating here or somewhere else?"

Johnny knew they did not have time to discuss EVERYTHING, and he really didn't want to do that anyway. But, the hour they had would be just enough time to begin allowing Roy some insight into his past. Depending on how Roy reacted, then he would tell the other guys on the crew as well, including his Captain. He was beginning to trust these men, not only with his life, but with his secrets, too.

"Hop in. Let's go down to the café on the corner. I'll have you back in time for roll call. Promise!" Johnny winked at him as they both got into the Rover and drove off the lot.

A/N: This is an alternate ending to the original story...I finish a story before I begin posting…I feel more comfortable in doing it that way. That is why I am able to post 2-3 chapters at a time. I may hold off on posting until I see how the reviews are going. I am thankful for positive comments, and constructive criticism. I hope those "die hard" fans of Emergency! don't feel I went too far outside of canon. I try to stick pretty close to the original characters, and just expand upon them a bit. Thanks for reading!


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